Part One
This momma feels a weight has shifted off her shoulders. The anticipation of Finn’s Survival Thing was filled with more apprehension and anxiety than I had realized.
This morning I accompanied Finn, Tahj, and Ian to their jungle farm destination for the next who knows how many days.
It wasn’t until I was hiking back down the mountain alone, that I felt the weight shift.
I still felt the responsibility for another mother’s child.
I still felt the instinctual pull of a mum who desires to wrap up her baby safe and sound vs encouraging and facilitating the inevitable growth that this experience will offer.
But it was different now.
I knew Ian was keeping a keen eye on the boys while struggling a little to balance the watchful gaze of caution against the active parental directing.
Part of the shift in this weight, I realized as I thumped back down the hill -trying not to blow out my bad knee- is that I didn’t actually have to make this happen for Finn at all. I chose to nurture this and facilitate it. No one made me do it. I wanted to – for so many reasons.
I could have played it safe and distracted him early on, away from this dream of his that has been in the works for many months. But safety and comfort aren’t what bring growth. Not for mum. Not for son. So instead, I encouraged, inquired, guided, and in the background Ian and I arranged for the best possible conditions to ensure success.
To have him in the wild, connected with nature, and far from his Oculus VR headset and gaming PC is absolute gold. This experience will have him more in touch with the rhythms of mother earth than many people ever get to experience, and it is priceless- for him, for us, for the earth.
The goal for this Survival Thing is to ‘survive’ as long as possible. Over the past months, Finn has created a Discord channel dedicated to his project. Here, he recorded the rules, ideas, recommended items to bring and more. Originally, it was to be a cross between Survivor and Naked and Afraid (but with clothes on!). Two items and that is it. It since morphed into all you can carry but you may not take food or water except for the hike up. Building your own shelter from the rain, out of sticks and logs, palm fronts and leaves is a key component of the challenge. We ended up settling on the purchase of a hammock with mosquito netting, because, well, why wouldn’t we want to avoid Dengue, Zika, Chikungunya etc haha!! For food, the boys will eat only what they can forage from the land and trees. There are banana/ plantain trees, mango, coconut and surely more. We will see how they go!
We have become as a whole, so disconnected from nature that, in our ignorance, we are breeding indifference. I believe one of the most profound lessons we can teach our children is to be connected to nature- to feel her in- and out-breaths, to connect the dots between the birds and the bees, to discover all the gifts that we have right beneath our feet and in the air we breathe.
Dr Zach Bush, if you ask me, was always destined to bring awareness to the connection between our soil and our health. I am a firm believer in people’s surnames being indicative of their soul purpose and I’m sticking to my guns on this one. If your ears haven’t had the pleasure of absorbing Zach’s audio eloquence, look him up and let him accompany you on the next long car ride!! It truly is food for the soul, how he weaves our soil, spiritual and sentient health together in a gorgeous web that is stickier than super glue.
The southern zone of Costa Rica is an extraordinary place. We are currently very close, as the toucan flies, to where Sir David Attenborough filmed his most recent documentary. If you haven’t heard of Sir David Attenborough, for goodness sake, look him up and watch every documentary of his you can find! Watch it with your kids, grandkids, spouse, in-laws… just do it! And while you are at it, watch Biggest Little Farm too!
Finn has been consuming such documentaries since before he could speak. His earliest learning experiences consisted of watching LIFE and PLANET EARTH and taking ‘notes’. He was not yet 5 years old and his notes were a series of boxes with drawings of the animals along with phonetic spelling of what he understood to be their names. I wish I had kept this physically but it remains in the recesses of my brain, emerging at a time like this as I reminisce and consider where his intense love of nature started. As an 18-month-old to 2-year-old, Finn would stand on tip-toes on the top lip of the baseboards (a.k.a “skirting boards” where I come from) so he could look out the window and call out to the ‘widdle baw-diz’ (little birdies). I love that this is part of what makes him Finn and I will do what it takes, no matter the fear I feel, to support him in all things survival, off-grid, wild and wonderful.
The wild is a scary place. There exists no control. We, humans, are helpless in nature unless we actively learn survival skills. My momma-brain self-talk consisted of fear-based what-ifs… until I remembered that what you focus on grows, and re-wrote the script.
Don’t get me wrong- fear and uncertainty are necessary and push us to learn and prepare to an extent:
What-if there’s a snake and it bites someone? —— Let’s ensure we all know what to in a snake-bite scenario!
What-if there’s a nest of African Bees and they start attacking? —— Let’s make a plan as to what to do if this happens…
And on it went.
What I have come to realize in greater clarity is that our default setting as humans on this planet is unsafe, uncomfortable and uncertain. I think we would all have significantly less issues if we operated from these settings rather than the default of comfort, entitlement, and security. But I digress.
I have to say, YouTube has played a crucial supporting role too. I hate to admit it! Finn has watched so many survival-themed YouTube videos that when well-meaning adult friends give suggestions as to who to follow…. Finn has already seen them! Lookout Bear Grylls! Finnegan Bean is finding his way!
Our property in the jungle is insanely beautiful. I loved it from the very moment I rode up there on a horse the first visit with the seller- a Guanacaste-born man whose family owned this farm for several decades. It spans 30 acres, with 10 acres fairly open with gorgeous views of the Golfo Dulce. The other 20 acres is secondary forest, including cacao trees, bananas, plantains, loads of mango trees as well as native flora.
Wild pigs, known locally as javelinas due to their javelin-like tusks, frequent the mud patch that is located a stone’s throw from the old water well. The boys have hopes of catching one to fulfill their protein requirements but it is dangerous and challenging. Javelinas run in large packs of 30 or more beasts, adding to the threat of death by nature.
One very wonderful surprise upon arrival was the news that our amazing neighbors, the Jimenez family, had just graded the road almost all the way to our place. Where before, just a couple of months ago, the ruts in the road were big enough to lose a small horse in…. we now got close enough that the hike was just 45 minutes of hot, hilly hell!
The availability of water was one element we were not sure of. We knew there to be a well on the property but had not seen it ourselves. We planned that I would arrange for drinking water to be taken up each day. Ian has a great backpacking water filter and he was prepared to hike down to the river for refills. It’s the end of the dry season, however, and as we made the hike, the river revealed herself as being almost out of juice. Just another challenge to overcome!
When Finn and I stumbled across the pozo (well) on our property, our elation was short-lived. Peering back at us from the murky pit was a miniature face- made unrecognizable by the reflections in the water. Not even the fancy filter would give me peace of mind drinking that nastiness!
I stopped on my way back down at our caretaker’s house to thank him and his son for doing an amazing job at clearing some undergrowth so there was space (safer, snake-free space) for the boys to set up shelter. We ended up discussing the water and the well and it was decided in the end that the two of them- Rolando and Axel, would head up tomorrow and clean out the well. We will see!
For now, I am back at ‘base camp’. It’s an old-school traditional Costa Rican beach house with some lovely and simple updated touches. It is essentially luxurious camping. From here I can receive Ian’s bi-hourly updates and be on stand-by in case of emergency.
Maybe sneak in some waves.
Maybe ride a horse.
Definitely eat yummy meals at Gaby’s!
Stay tuned for Part 2….