One of my many mottos is that challenge brings growth. I am quite sure it isn’t only ‘my’ motto, but I do try to live by it.
Those of you who have followed my blog posts in the past already know that surfing has been one of the biggest psychological and mental challenges in my life.
As a child, I would stand on the beach screaming bloody murder, convinced that my mum and dad were going to die because they had ventured out past the waves to swim. I remember crying and screaming so hard, fuelled by a fear so intense that it must be rooted in another time-space reality. I never had any close calls as a kid, or any incidents scary enough to warrant this level of terror.
I really did not enjoy holidays at the beach- I recall begging my mum to take me to a beach where there are no waves (if we had to go to the beach at all!!). Additional requests included no fish, no seaweed, no creepy crawlies, and no rocks. Essentially, I was describing a swimming pool – but I didn’t much like those either!
My school swimming carnivals were mostly skipped, ‘chucking a sickie’ as we say in Australia. On the few occasions when mum actually forced me to go, I entered the backstroke as I was too scared to dive in off the starting blocks!
I digress. Three weeks ago, I entered my first surf competition. I have since competed in 2 more. I am 41 years old and have been surfing for 19 years. In my mind, contest surfing has always been reserved for my husband and others like him, who are already excellent surfers. Despite being a very competitive person, I never considered entering surf contests as I felt that I really didn’t belong there and had plenty of excuses!
Physically, I never felt I was good enough, and, especially as I get older I am more aware that I don’t fit the typical surfer-girl figure or image. Mentally, it was a huge leap from the ‘I am an ok surfer now’ to ‘i’m a competition surfer now’… but I need not have waited so long!
Some of the reasons excuses I’ve used for not competing sooner are listed below.
- I am not good enough
- People are going to judge me (other than the judges!)
- What if I don’t even catch two waves?
- What if the waves are too big, too small, the tide is wrong etc?
- What if I embarrass myself?
If you have a similar list, I encourage you to examine each one with these questions:
- Is it really true?
- How do you know that to be true?
- Does it really matter?
Below are some key thinking points that have emerged for me in this process and I look forward to hearing your ideas too!
1/ You don’t need to be a good surfer to start competing.
In locally run surf contests – like our fantastic Liga Femenina de Surf and Circuito Guanacasteco de Surf – there are no minimum standards to meet in terms of talent! There are age groups for the kiddos, and for the more senior surfers but nothing says you have to be Carissa Moore to enter! If you want to push yourself and are a competitive person (with yourself and/ or others) – go for it!
2/ No one is really paying that much attention to what you are doing.
Most people are so wrapped up in their own worlds. One of the most liberating realizations we make is that other peoples’ opinions really don’t matter! Your friends and family, sure- they most likely will pay attention, and offer constructive criticism if you invite it. But hopefully, they are there simply to support you! If they are unsupportive or make negative comments that put you down or make you feel bad, then look on the bright side! You have fast-tracked the process of figuring out who to keep close in your circle and who to keep at arm’s length (until they maybe learn some lessons of their own!).
3/ This is between ME and the SEA.
That’s it. The challenge lies in my ability to read the ocean. To observe her nuances, and anticipate her moods. To position myself in a way that makes it possible to take off on the best waves she delivers and therefore have a chance to do some maneuvers and have some FUN!
4/ Nerves are normal!
Anticipation and adrenaline are part of the challenge of competing. Being nervous is sure to be part of the package and is an amazing opportunity to build mental resilience. What is your self-talk narrative? Try busting out some old faithfuls such as ‘i’ve got this!’ and keep your focus on what is at hand- catching waves! Also remember, the other contestants are also nervous, and admitting it to each other can be a huge relief and a chance for a bit of camaraderie and connection.
5/ Figure out your ‘WHY?’ Hint- this doesn’t just apply to surfing contests!!
What drives you to want to compete?
Why would you compete when you could just as easily go surf at the right tides, the best times, at a familiar and fun surf break?
Despite all the challenges, is it FUN? If it truly is not fun- don’t do it!!
6/ Encouraging others feels REALLY good!
I love the fact that in each and every contest I have entered, I have met at least one, new, super cool surfer girl/ woman! I love the high fives between two humans who don’t even know each other, and between those who have known each other forever. I love that the young ones encourage the older ones, and vice versa. Good sportsmanship is something to be nurtured – competing provides the sandbox!
Final note.
In most surf contest formats, you are scored on the two highest-scoring waves in your heat.
I am yet to catch two decent scoring waves in a 15-20 minute heat and it doesn’t matter at all. In one contest, under super tricky conditions (big, onshore, kinda scary for me) I scored a 6/10 on one wave and continue to be elated by that one small thing. I haven’t passed through any heat to the next round yet, and the only time I got a placing was in the Master’s category getting 2nd place out of 3 people!
When friends and family ask how I did, I share what challenges I overcame. I share the moments that made me smile. I share the fact that I paddled out despite the ocean conditions being the opposite of calm and comfortable.
I share MY wins.